I have to admit that I really hesitated before I decided to write so many personal moments on my blog regarding this miscarriage. I’ve always felt as though writing has almost been a way for me to make it through many tough moments in life. For me initially the decision was partly a way for me to cope through this loss but also to help update all those who I know truly care for me and my family. We’ve come to know so many people over the years and to be honest, it’s just so tough for us to stay in constant communication with everyone individually, especially after a loss like this. Though I admit I was slightly concerned to have so many personal moments publicly visible for the world to see, I have come to realize that this miscarriage and all the events that have followed it are nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I almost feel as though it’s more important that I am willing to somehow express all the things that have happened not just for me, or for those I care about – but also for all those that may someday go through similar experiences. Maybe somehow I can help others that may be hurting so badly through the same type of loss I’ve experienced. I’m the one who’s experienced years of difficulties conceiving. I’m the one who’s now had three miscarriages. And I’m now the one who’s had 4 D&C’s – 3 of which were a result of this 3rd miscarriage. So I suppose I hope that in turn I may help others who may some day go through similar struggles. I’ve already been told my story has helped others understand or relate to this type of loss if they or others have miscarried.
Because of all this I wanted to make sure all of the blog postings I have written this past month and those that will follow that relate to this miscarriage are accessible from one central location. I have created this page that you can now access these posts a little easier. And though I initially was hesitant to write so much publicly, I’ve now come to realize that this has helped me and will likely help many others. So I welcome you all to share that link if you feel it may help someone else struggling with a similar experience if you think it will help.
- Our Loss is Heaven’s Gain (October 2, 2009) – The day I learned I miscarried for a third time.
- Looking back at the last week & ahead at the next (October 4, 2009) – A photographic reflection of the last week I was pregnant along with personal thoughts before the first surgery.
- The calm before the storm (October 4, 2009) – More thoughts before the first surgery.
- In the arms of an angel (October 5, 2009) – More thoughts before the first surgery.
- Recovery (October 5, 2009) – Updating everyone after the first surgery.
- A few happier moments (October 7, 2009) – My first escape from the house after the first surgery and a few happier moments since the first surgery.
- Growing pains & More (October 8, 2009) – Thoughts following the first surgery.
- Thank yous, birthdays & our luck (October 10, 2009) – Sending thank yous out to everyone.
- Anniversaries (October 11, 2009) – Our wedding anniversary was tough to celebrate less than a week after surgery.
- Jaylen’s second birthday (October 12, 2009) – Jaylen’s birthday fell just one week after surgery.
- Recovery Update (October 14, 2009) – 9 days after surgery I went back to the doctor after bleeding a lot more than normal and learned tissue remained from the first surgery.
- Surgery, Again (October 16, 2009) – 11 days after surgery I went back to the doctor to learn I would have to go through surgery a second time that same day.
- The unexpected third surgery (October 19, 2009) – After bleeding excessively I returned to the doctor just two weeks since the first surgery and 3 days after the second surgery to learn I needed a third surgery that was performed that same day.
- The scary medical wait begins (October 21, 2009) – An update from my follow up appointment detailing the medical concerns I was faced with after 3 surgeries and since learning I potentially had a heart shaped uterus.
- A few good moments, my photography logo & web site (October 22, 2009) – An update with a little good news.
- In the hospital again (October 23, 2009) – After experiencing pain for 2 days I called the doctor and they asked I go to the hospital to get checked out. I was admitted for the weekend.
- My first day at the hospital (October 24, 2009) – Sharing my experiences after being in the hospital a day.
- Day two at the hospital (October 25, 2009 – Sharing my experiences after being at the hospital a second day.
- Finally I’m home (October 26, 2009) – Sharing moments from my last day at the hospital and once I arrived home.
- A little reassuring recovery update (October 28, 2009) – An update after a follow up visit to the doctor.
- My weekly recovery update (November 4, 2009) – An update after a follow up visit to the doctor.
- A few random updated (January 28, 2010) – Sharing my miscarriage type book and news about the upcoming HSG procedure.
- Hysterosalpingography (Feb 2, 2010) – An update after the HSG procedure.
by Amanda Kern
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