Photographer, Educator, Student, Mother & Wife Obsessed with sharing moments through pictures & words
It’s really hard to believe that Christmas is just five days away. It can’t really be Christmas already, can it?
It still does not feel like Christmas for us this year. Rarely are there years that pass by that our Christmas tree isn’t up the day after Thanksgiving, or that the outside of our home isn’t...
December 21, 2009 - 7:37 am - aww i love it and tell her god brings babies santa brings toys! love you guys!
December 21, 2009 - 9:24 am - Your family has had an amazing year! And there are plenty of miracles yet to come in your paths ahead!
December 21, 2009 - 9:56 am - Wow, thank you for sharing and making me laugh several times this morning. Merry Christmas!
December 22, 2009 - 8:35 am - now that's a Christmas card anyone would be thrilled to receive!!!
Recovery, finally. Yes, it seems like forever since I was last at work, that is until this week. The last time I was on campus before this week was on October 1st. This past Monday I returned to teaching and was thrilled to be on campus for all the classes scheduled to meet this week....
Never in my life have a been more anxious for the month of October to end. Typically October is one of our most favorite months of the year because it’s filled with birthdays, our anniversary and Halloween. So the month of October is finally coming to a close, and thankfully on a good note.
BACK AT...
October 31, 2009 - 11:55 pm - Ha! Love the costumes!!!!
“Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.” -Saint Bertholomew
Today I returned home from my weekend stay at the hospital. As my spirits...
“Pain is never permanent.” – Saint Teresa of Avila
As I near the end of my second day in the hospital I have to tell you all that today has been so much more challenging on many levels. It’s been a long day that I’m so glad has nearly passed. Today I’ve discovered a few more...
“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” -Bernice Johnson Reagon
My first full day at the hospital has passed. The day began with me feeling pretty cruddy. In just the first day I have discovered a few of the things being in the hospital:
The doctor saw...
October 24, 2009 - 11:22 pm - You actually made me tear up tonight. I've been saying it for days but I just really hope you feel much better soon.
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong
I never imagined earlier today that I’d find myself blogging from the hospital, but here I am...
October 24, 2009 - 1:45 am - Hi Amanda. You're quite a trooper and someone to really look up to. I will pray that you get better real soon. I hope you get some good rest. Wish you the best. ^_^
October 28, 2009 - 9:37 am - Oh Amanda, what a difficult journey you have been on lately. I cannot imagine the frustrations and emotions you are experiencing, even though you are so good at expressing them in writing. I'll be sure to say extra prayers for you and your family. Btw, I have had 2 HSG's and they will be a cake walk compared to what you have been through so far. Hopefully it will provide answers for you and a path to move forward on.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -Martin Luther King Jr.
Today would have been my “follow up” visit for the first D&C if everything had gone as planned. Unfortunately, instead it was one of what...
October 21, 2009 - 9:02 pm - Amanda & Jason - Team Montalvo sends our love and prayers for a complete, healthy recovery. Please feel welcome to tap us as we've officially signed up to be part of your support group. Whatever you need, we're here. HUGS, Love and Rock n Roll, Erica, Mike, Isa & Lili :o) =o) :) :)
October 22, 2009 - 12:33 am - well im glad you update us with everything and anyone who feels my sister is sharing too much can jump off acliff! i love you guys still praying for ya too!
October 22, 2009 - 9:53 am - ditto to that, joleen. transparency is very helpful at times like these for those of us that care and worry. it takes a great deal of courage to share and be so open with issues so traumatic and personal. dr. volker gallichio says hang in there and make sure you get some rest amanda! :-)
October 22, 2009 - 10:42 am - thanks guys. It's definitely been tough to rest this mind of mine until more time passes. That said on just 2 1/2 hours of sleep between being in discomfort still from the effects of surgery and just having my mind unsettled about all the recent news. :o( They say pain is weakness leaving the body...so give me a bit more time and I'll seriously be tough as nails guys. I don't see how I can have much more weakness inside me after all I've been through these last few weeks.
“I know the Lord will never give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” – Mother Theresa
Since this past Friday’s surgery I have to admit I had been feeling so much better. I finally felt as though the worst was behind us and that I was going...
October 19, 2009 - 11:53 pm - Thanks for updating us and don't worry about overwhelming your friends. Maybe we are overwhelmed... with caring for you... that's a good thing Hang in there my friend.
October 20, 2009 - 12:21 am - i love you!!
October 20, 2009 - 1:08 am - Okay Amanda, Now is the time to get better! I am joining Kristy's club to to have a "small talk" with your doctor. We are going to go "in mass" to encourage him to make you better. We all love and miss you and can't wait for you to feel better and come back to school! You know that you only need to ask and I (we) will be there to help you with anything you should need. Even if it writing some cheesy jokes! Take care and see you soon. Miss you, Diana Turk
October 20, 2009 - 4:24 am - thank you guys. And trust me Diane - I'm anxious to go back to school but after today I'm equally fearful to until the doctors are able to give me an indication that I will be okay so that this doesn't happen again.
October 20, 2009 - 9:02 am - I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I will pray for your full recovery.
October 20, 2009 - 12:23 pm - Sometimes we don't know why things happen. We certainly don't know why certain things happen to us in particular. They just do. Trust me, I know. You just have to take it one day at a time. "Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans". I cannot say I completely understand what you are going through. But I can say that I understand what it is to have to deal with something going wrong with my body, seeing a lot of hospital, needing multiple (very painful) eye surgeries and not seeing a whole lot of progress (but quite the opposite). Something has been taken away. It's tough and often dark. But remember, you are not alone. It's great to receive so much encouragement from others. I'm sure you deeply appreciate all the sympathy, consideration, words of encouragement and all the warm wishes you get from so many through email, your blog, in person or written. Their faith in you, especially those nearest to your heart, mean the world to you. That, is what keeps you going. You remain positive as much as you can. After all, that's what your family needs. Being the true soldier that you are, you keep trucking along as you always have. But remember, you are not alone. Through all this, despite so much expressed love and sincere support, there remain unanswered questions, lingering feelings of inadequacy and possible silent fears. After all, what is happening to you is not normal. As you go along, you have some good days and sometimes you just don't. You go through it hoping things are going to get better, but you just really don't know if they will. You hang on to your faith and to the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. You pray you have a better week, a better year. Sometimes that's all you have, hope and prayer. You are not alone. Oh! But how powerful that hope and those prayers are! Speaking from experience, they matter. They are not in vane. They are not empty. Hope truly moves mountains. Your prayers are certainly heard, even those your very lips cannot clearly express (but are deep within your soul). I'm not trying to sound profound or poetic. I'm just speaking what comes to mind as I reflect on my own experience, some of which you witnessed as I struggled to make it through school with the endless eye surgeries and the long and painful recoveries I faced (and still struggle with). You are not alone. I used to have 2 well functioning eyes. I lost one. It's basically blind. I used to have vision in it. But I see better now. I see that life is precious. I see there is so much to be grateful for. I see that I'm loved, appreciated and I make a difference. I better learned that their will always be things in my life that will try to take my focus away from all the great things life has to offer. I realize that life is much bigger than any medical condition I have. I more clearly see, that there are others who struggle with conditions much more complicated than mine. It may be tough, but what I struggle with is not the worst thing that can happen to me. There are so many things I will miss out on in life if I only focus on me and my struggle. I continue to learn that it's OK to feel, to hurt, to cry and to, once in a while, have a pitty party for myself. (I just have to make sure I keep'em vert short so that I can move on). It's OK, and often very good, to be open about my struggle, pain and fears. That's why I so much respect and appreciate your openness about your battles through your blog. The biggest lesson I've learned (and continue to learn) is to enjoy the NOW. I've learned to enjoy where I am at, despite hardship (or because of it). I better appreciate what I do have and not worry so much about what I don't. I work hard towards what I want to achieve or acquire. But I enjoy the process more and not let challenges rob me for missing out out fulfilling moments or from creating great memories. I'm learning to, once in a while, stop and smell the roses. Amanda, you are a great inspiration to so many. You are a tremendously courageous woman, a true soldier. Thank you for sharing with us your knowledge and creative talents, your joys as well as your struggles. You are a great instructor in school and a wonderful teacher beyond the classroom. You are a great performer on the stage of life. Keep it up. You're doing great! Hang in there, because you are not alone!
October 20, 2009 - 2:06 pm - My girl - three D&C is at least two too many. I will continue to pray that through all of this God will lift you up. Hugs,
October 21, 2009 - 12:46 pm - Amanda, I have just spent some time reading through your recent blog posts and my heart is breaking. I am so sorry for all that you have been through. My thoughts are with you and your family.
“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought again.” – peace pilgrim
This morning I went in for my follow up appointment with the doctor. After Wednesday’s appointment I was left with many fears and though I was hopeful that I’d recover in two days, I could just tell...
October 16, 2009 - 8:08 pm - YOU ARE THE BEST :) Everything is gonna b alright :)
October 16, 2009 - 9:55 pm - 'manda, love you and am praying for you. Let me know what I can bring by, please. e
October 17, 2009 - 9:02 am - Wow, How much strength as a person you will grow from all this. My thoughts are with you. Let me know if theres anything I can do for our class. And if we have class tues lol :) Get better Soon Stacy
October 18, 2009 - 8:16 am - Amanda, You are in my thoughts and prayers! I grieve with you, no one should have to endure this. I am so sorry!! My offer still stands I would love to bring by a meal. Just say Yes and I can bring it to you, or take it to a friend;s house for you or leave something at school.I just want you to feel loved! I feel so bad that you have to go through something this rough again. Praying for you, Rachel
October 18, 2009 - 7:20 pm - I am sorry to hear that there is more bad news prof. Just do your best to stay strong and you will be fine. My health was at serious risk not too long ago and the ability to stay focused and strong allowed me to make it through the situation, mentally. My hope and thoughts are with you. Dacoup Howell
October 20, 2009 - 7:03 pm - Since I met you I have marveled at all the tasks you juggle so seemingly effortlessly. I have come to believe that you are one of the strongest and most motivated people I know and possibly have ever known. What you are going through now would test even the strongest person and force one to know and see the limits of that strength. I'm thinking about you and wishing you well and a speedy recovery. I know you will bounce back from this and you will not be diminished but be even stronger for it. Take care of yourself and don't be in a rush to get back to the daily grind of life.
October 21, 2009 - 6:03 pm - You are so much stronger than you can possibly imagine. We're all with you!
by Amanda Kern
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