“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson
Three months to the date that I learned I miscarried I’m incredibly relieved to share great news from the hysterosalpingography (HSG) procedure I underwent today. The procedure today confirmed that “I’m normal”. Okay, so perhaps some of you might believe that I’m not totally “normal”, but the procedure today ruled out all the suspicions of any conditions with my uterus that arose in October after the miscarriage and surgeries.
Though many of you may have kept up with the challenges and emotions that came in October after miscarrying – I haven’t really written about it much the last two months. I can’t deny the experience still affects me just as much today as it did three months ago. It’s tough to make it past a day without the thoughts of what could of been or how much I truly wished to move on. But until today, it’s felt more as though I’ve been stuck in the moments, emotions, and fears from that chaotic month that I still would prefer be erased from my memory. So this news could not come at a better time because it has helped bring me the reassurance that after all I’ve been through, I am okay.
After the procedure the doctor was able to explain to me everything he saw clearly through during this procedure. Though suspicions arose in October that I might have had a condition with my uterus, this procedure confirmed that all those suspicions were not accurate and that I am perfectly healthy and capable of conceiving again when we are ready. Of course this doesn’t rule out the risks of more recurrent miscarriages, but we no longer have to worry about how that condition they suspected could have affected me and our decision to conceive again. The doctor also forewarned us of a slightly higher risk of placental issues if we were to ever conceive again. Apparently women who have had multiple pregnancies and/or surgeries are at a slightly higher risk for such conditions – but not so high that they would discourage us from trying again. And as scary as this sounds too, I have to admit I continue to be relieved that the doctors have continued to be very upfront and honest, giving us a clear understanding of what we’re up against and the worst case scenario as it will influence us moving forward.
So yes, finally, three months later…tears. Tears of happiness that I can stop worrying about one big concern that has plagued me for months. It feels like finally we can begin to move on…and as we do I can’t help but remind myself how blessed I am. Blessed to have an amazing family. Two beautiful children. And such caring friends and family who have said so many prayers and sent such caring wishes our way. Again, I thank you all…finally, the prayers seem to be working.
by Amanda Kern
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