“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.” – Ansel Adams
I’ve been content with silence the last few days. Perhaps because it’s been a necessary part of coping through the challenges of the last few weeks. We’re oh so close to having Chance home with us and thankfully Jason remembered to bring the camera tonight during our visit with Chance. I was allowed to hold and nurse him and as you can see it’s made us both a bit more content. Yes, we’re ready for him to come home and we think he’s ready too.
It’s been a tough 2+ weeks. I’ve watched my little man go in and out of so many surgeries. Getting IV’s, shunts, and being fed by feeding tubes. He now has the “NICU hair do” with spots shaved on both sides from IV’s. He has the shunt that seems so large in comparison to his tiny little head and the tube that goes to his belly. Though we’ve accepted that they’re necessary for his survival, it doesn’t make it any easier to see them now a part of him. I’ve watched him sleep majority of the last two weeks and have had very few opportunities to hold or feed him myself. He’s now a bit chubbier and growing more alert by the day. We are ready for him to come home.
So long as his back doesn’t leak he should get to go home with us tomorrow. He has had a higher blood pressure this past week which has raised concerns with the doctors. He underwent a rhenal ultrasound today to check on his kidneys and our fingers are crossed that there’s nothing too concerning to keep him from coming home.
As for me, I’m finally home. I was discharged from the hospital last night. I couldn’t have been happier to rest in my own bed and be home with the kids. Majority of the baby clothes we’ve ordered for Chance has finally arrived so it was an uplifting day going through so much of his clothes. I’m quite blessed to have amazing doctors who continue to keep an eye on me. Plans are for me to return for a follow up appointment before the end of the week.
Thank you all for continuing to send all your heartfelt messages and comments. It’s been tough for me to respond to everyone, but I promise I have read every one and they have continued to offer me the reassurance to keep moving.
Sending you lots of good wishes for a smooth and happy transition to being home together as a family.
by Amanda Kern
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