This past month he started physical therapy. He has been sitting for a while but not quite what I’d say independently. He loses his balance easily and is known to throw himself back. He hadn’t shown too many signs of having a desire to be mobile either…no matter how much we tried to get him to move those little legs he was content just laying around enjoying the things around him. At physical therapy we mostly have been working on getting him to do things to strengthen his body in the areas needed to sit confidently and independently and also to roll on his own out of desire…not just out of fussiness. Here I was wishing for my baby boy to show a desire to crawl…and he still was working on things that most babies his age typically would have done months ago. Every time he’s been on his belly he’d just leave those legs locked out straight and it’s tough not to let my momma emotions wonder how long it’d possibly be before he’d begin to show signs of wanting to move around…and yes, crawl.

In the last week he’s made big progress. We can’t lay him down without him rolling right on over. And he’s begun to scoot backwards. In the last few days he’s begun to move those legs in a bit more of a bent and at times upward position…yes, a little more like this little guy will crawl before we know it. Go ahead Chance…show of those little legs moving!

He knows we’re quite proud of how well he’s been doing. Something tells me he’s proud to be moving around a bit more now too.

He’s begun to stick his tongue out more too…it’s the funniest thing. Okay, this was just the start of it today…just wait, this kid will have you laughing.

Chance has another surprise…if you’ve been on facebook you’ve likely heard about it…take a guess…Yes, two new teeth! Finally they’ve popped up just enough for me to photograph. He smiles so big that they’ll likely be in all his photos now. Okay…this kid is cute…but get ready for his silly side.He’s found this tongue can get most people to look at him…and even laugh. As if the kid didn’t get enough attention…he’s quite funny this past week with this new trick.And yes, he knows he’s funny.Seriously…he cracks me up…the last few days he has spent a good portion of the day sticking his tongue out. We spent a little time today just admiring this little guy before he grows too much more. And yes, this little guy rolls all around now…it seems we set him down and he ends up on the other side of the room. We’re still trying to figure out where he learned this trick…seriously…half the day this kid is humoring us like this. Ten months old…geez where has time gone. Today reminded me once again to admire just the simplest of moments…yes, I had no intent to take any of these photos today…it all began much like it ended…with a little baby boy who was fascinated with cartoons moving around on the floor. I’m thankful for the memories…every single simple moment that has come and gone…thank goodness for photos to remind me of the priceless unplanned moments.

Now that Christmas has come to an end…I thought I’d take a moment to share a long overdue update on my blog. We celebrated Christmas…and felt a little more blessed to have this little guy celebrating his very first Christmas…at home!

Yes, I say that quite happily because this year has been challenging and uncertain at times and we’ve been quite thankful that we’ve been out of the hospital with Chance now for 2 1/2 months. We say lots of prayers that it’ll stay that way. We were reminded how fortunate we are to be home as we’ve learned of some of our spina bifida family who have found themselves in the hospital this Christmas and also having our niece in the hospital with leukemia. This year has definitely helped me cherish the little moments a little more. Chance has been in physical therapy for the last few weeks and is gradually gaining the strength needed to sit more confidently, roll around, and scoot a bit. I imagine it might not be long until he’s crawling.

We celebrated Christmas at home with the kids. Aside from the excitement of opening gifts majority of the day has been calm. We feel blessed to have such amazing kids. They were a tad bit excited to see all the gifts santa brought them.

I thought I’d take a moment to share our holiday cards online with all of you. Some of you have likely already received yours…and it’s possible that some may be in the mail still. It seems that every year our mailing list grows a little bit because this little silly idea of mine to make our own cards has definitely become a tradition that will continue for many years to come. Every year I seem to be told by a handful of people that our cards were the “keeper” of the stack they received…I suppose now that leaves no pressure every year. For me they’ve become not only a tradition, but almost like a gift to give myself…something that helps me cherish my family a little more each  year….and something I can then share with those special people in our lives that we adore.

This year I elected to do a bit more of a photographic theme. It seems only fitting. To be honest…I took so many photos of the kids I wanted to share that after sifting through all this year’s photos it made me want to turn our cards into almost like a photographic “highlight” of our year.

The cards were made to have an accordion fold so they’d open a bit more differently than a normal card. I felt it left a lot of room for me to include photos. I included a bit of type that seemed fitting like “for unto us a child is born” and “may god’s blessings be yours this Christmas”.

On this inside of the card I included some of Hope’s handwriting along with her illustrated version of our family. It’s neat to see how much her illustrations change every year.

On the inside of the cards we have a family photos taken at the last minute as I began designing our cards. Yes, rushed…but still a priceless candid moment with my family. I felt it important to include: “Love bears all things, Hopes all things, Endures all things. Love never fails.” (Corinthians 13: 7-8) beside our family photos. Our family has been through so much over the years but this year has undoubtedly been the toughest. I often don’t write nearly as much as has affected us. I just trust there’s a purpose in everything…and I trust God’s using all these challenges that have been thrown at us to strengthen us. As we tried to get the boys to open up a bit more happily in the photos taken we realized it was worth just letting them be themselves…and goofy moments prevailed. Thankfully Chance’s shunt plays along with him being upside down…he really does seem to love being turned upside down.

Our cards were two sided so the back includes more photos along with giving Hope a little credit for helping me with our cards.

I’ve had a few of you express an interest to see the past year’s cards this year…so just in case you’ve never seen them you can view them here…now I’ve got less than a year to plot out an idea for next year’s cards. Yeah, well…no matter how much time I give myself to think out ideas…it always leaves me sending them out the week of Christmas the last few  years.

• 2006 cards
• 2007 cards
• 2008 cards
• 2009 cards
• 2010 cards

I hope you enjoyed this year’s cards…and if for some reason if I missed sending you a card this year then be sure to send me your address. I lost a few addresses early this year when my laptop crashed so hopefully I didn’t miss too many of you.

Happy holidays to you all.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly four years since I began this little journey of photographing newborns. What began as just a personal interest and hobby has certainly come a long way and I’ve learned so much about photography and newborns over the last few years. As I’ve shared my work and begun my business I’ve gradually had people not only interested in having their babies photographed but there have been many interested in seeing what goes into photographing a newborn. It’s definitely not as easy as it may look and takes a great deal of patience and time to work with the little ones. Over the last few years more and more people are beginning to contact me to ask for tips, ask if they can shadow or intern, and I’ve even been stopped a few times by strangers while out and about asking about opportunities to be present during a newborn session. So offering opportunities to let others join me during a session has been on my mind the past year or more but as many of you know life has been incredibly busy…but finally, I’ve begun to coordinate a last minute opportunity for those of you who’d like to join me in a newborn shoot and have a bit of fun observing and being a part of a session.

Of course there’s more to it than me looking forward to sharing my knowledge…I have a desire to give…once again. Yes, a bit of a different giving opportunity I have for you all. If you’ve been following along on my blog you may have heard that my niece who is just 2 years old was recently diagnosed with leukemia. She’s been in the hospital for about three weeks of the past month and her family is expected to be challenged as she fights leukemia. In addition to the hardship leukemia places upon her family they’ve recently experienced troubles with both of their vehicles. They’re also close to halfway through with a second pregnancy. We’ve established a fundraiser for my niece’s family that ends THIS Friday, December 16th at midnight.

So here’s your opportunity to join me in a newborn photoshoot this Saturday morning at 9am at a local park outdoors in the Orlando area. Before I share the details I must first introduce you to two incredibly adorable babies that will be present for the photo session.

If you’re interested in this opportunity here’s all you have to do…

• Visit my niece Raven’s fundraising page and make a donation. I won’t set a minimum…I know it’s the holidays…at this rate knowing you have a giving heart to help my niece is enough for me to extend this opportunity to you.
• Email me (amanda [at] amandakern.com or just use the contact button on my blog or web site) as soon as you make a donation and let me know you want to join me for the photo session. Again, it’ll be 9am this Saturday, December 17th, 2011 at a local park in Orlando. I’ll send you specific details as soon as I receive your email. I anticipate the session to last 1-2 hours but the exact duration will depend upon the cooperation of the two adorable little ones I’ll be photographing.

Please note that only a limited number of people will be able to join us so the first to donate and email will be the first accepted to join me. I will be sure to let you all know when we’ve reached capacity. If you join me during the session you will be able to observe, participate, and take photos during the session. Of course you’ll also have the opportunity to ask me questions and hopefully along the way I can help share a few tips with those of you interested in learning a bit more about working with newborns and/or photography.

Yes, I’ve learned a lot…now it’s time to share a bit of my knowledge…and in the process it’ll mean the world to me if more of you can help me give to help my sweet niece Raven and her family as they have been so challenged with the news that she now has leukemia.

A year ago I didn’t realize how much our lives would be changed by an amazing man who sacrificed his life protecting us all. December 8th marks the one year anniversary that Deputy Brandon Coates was shot and killed in the line of duty. I’m sure Brandon’s passing has affected many in central Florida…family, friends, co-workers, and even citizens who don’t know Brandon personally. It has certainly impacted my family and changed us forever. With my husband working directly with Brandon and being one of the first on scene Brandon’s life has been held so close in our thoughts this year. I find myself looking upwards thinking of all the ways I’d like to thank Brandon…realizing that could have been my husband’s life that was taken. It has given me a greater appreciation for life and it continues to remind me to never take a single day for granted and to take the time you have to remind those you love just how important they are to you.

And as I have found myself reflecting often this year I recall the outpour of love and support that many extended after I shared photography I had taken during the memorial services I knew I had to do something more to help remember Brandon. If I could urge you to do one thing in your lifetime…it’s to find it in your heart to be present for a military or police funeral. Death is such a sad somber moment in anyone’s life, but there are no words that can truly explain how incredibly special and touching a police and military service is. I spent a little time recently putting together a book of photography of the memorial services that myself and my friend and fellow photographer, Gian Carlo Brand, had taken during the two days of memorial services last year. I know this book won’t necessarily help remove the heartache caused by Brandon’s loss but I pray it helps Jason, Brandon’s wife and family and the many friends and co-workers who love and miss him so much.

To preview the book or purchase your own copy of the book you can go directly to blurb’s web site. It can be previewed digitally online fullscreen. I know many of you may wish to remember the services so I’ve made it available to order the book at cost where the costs listed go directly to the printing costs set by blurb. I’ve set it up so you can view the book right here on my blog (just click below for the fullscreen option).

My prayers go out to all of you who knew Brandon personally. I pray that somehow this little book I’ve created helps you all in remembering a courageous and amazing man who will never be forgotten. Yes, Brandon…you need not worry…we know Heroes live forever.

The event is taking place at Blue Jacket Park in Orlando, Florida on Saturday October 29th, 2011.

Registration begins at 8am.

Kick-off begins at 9am.

Games, Activities, & Music will be between 9-11am.

Door prize drawings will be held at 11am. If you haven’t heard they have some pretty big door prizes this year!

This map was shared with me by those planning the event coordination. It might help you all see the walk area and locations you can park.

Additional information was shared today from those involved in planning the event that I wanted to be sure I shared.

A FEW TIPS BEFORE YOU ATTEND THE EVENT

• When you arrive please check-in at the Registration tent located near the main parking lot of Blue Jacket Park.
• If you have raised additional money, please bring the pledge forms and money to registration. It would help those collecting funds tremendously if you go ahead and place the forms and money in an envelope; however, envelopes will be available at the event. The pledge forms can be downloaded from your MyHQ (personal fundraising page). Additional forms will be available at the event.
• There are separate registration lines for the individual participants and teams.
• Following check-in, if you are a member of a team, you will be directed to your team’s assigned location which has been marked. Additional space is available for individual participants to bring a blanket, chairs, etc.
• A group picture will be taken near the fountain at the beginning of the event.
• Please feel free to walk as many times around the park.
• Complimentary snacks and drinks will be provided, but you may also bring your own!

When do I get a WALK-N-ROLL t-shirt?
WALK-N-ROLL t-shirts are provided on the day of the event to all participants (walkers and rollers) who have raised or donated a minimum of $100 per person. We encourage you to wear your t-shirt on the day of the WALK-N-ROLL to raise awareness about Spina Bifida and recognize other participants. We do our best to provide enough sizes of t-shirts to fit all participants, but because this is not an exact science, some may need to select a size up or down. We apologize, but there is no guarantee that we will have enough t-shirts for all, since many participants will not register until the day of the event. T-shirts will be distributed to those participants who registered online and remaining t- shirts will be distributed on a first come, first served basis; however, we will order more t-shirts for our eligible participants. Teams may also choose to design their own t-shirts. Custom t-shirts help teams to stand out and be recognized during the event. Custom buttons, hats, or neck scarves are other ways for participants to show enthusiasm and support their team.

How does the t-shirt incentive work with TEAMS?
While we want to provide all team members with a WNR t-shirt, please remember that COLLECTIVELY enough funds MUST be raised to meet the $100 PER TEAM MEMBER; however, the number of t-shirts distributed to a team CANNOT EXCEED the number of registered members (registered online or at the event).

For example:

• If a team raises $1,200 and it has 5 team members (registered online or at the event), only 5 t-shirts will be provided.
• If a team raises $1,000 and it has 12 team members (registered online or at the event), only 10 t-shirts will be provided.

Also, t-shirts will be reserved for those members that have registered online, but we are ordering few extra to accommodate those team members who may register at the event and these will be given out on a first-come, first-serve basis. If we run out of t-shirts, we will order more.

How far will I have to walk/roll?
Our location offers two choices. You may choose the 1?2 mile loop or the 1 mile loop, with the same beginning and ending points.

How long does the WALK-N-ROLL last?
A brief welcome and announcements will begin at 9AM. After the National Anthem is sung, the WALK-N-ROLL will begin. When participants return from their choice of paths, they will enjoy live music, complimentary snacks and drinks, and games and activities. The drawing for the fabulous door prizes will be at 11AM. We will begin cleaning up after that, but you are welcome to stay and enjoy the day.

What if it rains?
The weather usually cooperates in October for a comfortable day. However, Mother Nature is unpredictable and the WALK-N-ROLL event will take place rain or shine. Please check the weather conditions and dress accordingly for being outdoors.

A FEW TEAM CHANCE UPDATES…
A huge thanks to everyone who has signed up to join Team Chance and to so many of you who contributed to the fundraising efforts for the Walk-N-Roll. As of tonight Chance’s team has raised nearly $4,000 of the close to $40,000 raised to date for the Spina Bifida Association of Central Florida…that’s 10% of all the funds raised…not too bad considering there are currently 40 teams signed up and hundreds of individuals registered. I can’t thank you all enough for helping be a big part of something pretty amazing and special to me & my family.

As a reminder, if you plan to join us the day of the event it’s encouraged that you register before the day of the event so that you don’t have to stand in lines the day of the event. If you’re joining Chance’s team you’ll see his team on the Walk-N-Roll web site, just visit the link to “join” his team. The registration process is fairly self explanatory.

Chance’s team shirts have arrived. I will only have a limited number on hand the day of the event so be sure you arrive early. I don’t have the time to coordinate a massive order and collect donations – there just isn’t a simple way and still ensure I don’t over or under order so the shirts will be distributed as fairly as possible to those that have helped us the most and to those present showing their support. I am sure if there’s that much of an interest we could always get more printed someday. Then again…there’ll always be more Walk-N-Roll events and more cool new super Chance t-shirts.

My baby boy proudly sported his team t-shirt today for you all.

We took a good 100+ photos…Chance is quickly catching on and showing his personality…it’s pretty evident he had enough of me taking his photo.

Something tells me we shouldn’t be too hard to find the day of the event…just look for the superman logo! Our family looks forward to seeing you all at the event. I suppose as the Walk-N-Roll finally passes it’s another point of us embracing him having spina bifida rather than fearing it. He’s here for a very special reason…and I think he’s done a pretty good job of proving just how miraculous his presence is. Thank you all for surrounding us with your support through all the challenges we’ve faced with this little guy.

Yes, son…look up because we’ll make it through all this spina bifida stuff together…and still find plenty to smile about….now it’s time to celebrate you.

This time last year my life was still amidst quite a bit of uncertainty, fear, and filled with overwhelming moments as we had come so close to giving up on my baby boy. It seems like many more days in the first few weeks after the diagnosis were filled with the fear of the unknown and the wish that I could give up or just wish away all the not so great things I had come to learn might happen to my baby boy. Yes, last year so many of the things that I feared might happen…did end up happening in the last 8 months. Today marks the one year mark of meeting with Chance’s neurosurgeon who not only helped us see the optimism in our son’s life but surrounded us with the care and support to help us remain hopeful.

I still recall the day like it was yesterday…it’s tough to forget such an emotional day where tears fell with virtually every thought and word I wrote. A year ago I recall writing about the power of prayer as thousands of people prayed for the many people affected by spina bifida. That day one of the mother’s specifically started the prayer day knowing how close we came to giving up. Giving up is something that I’ve since learned over 60% of families do when they learn their baby has spina bifida. I’ve been there. I know how helpless of a feeling it is to learn your baby has spina bifida. There definitely have been many days since Chance was born that I’ve still felt overwhelmed with the challenges spina bifida has brought our family and what I’d give to wish it away…but I can’t. A year ago we knew we’d choose life…thank goodness we did because even with all the challenges…I’d be lost without Chance here with us now.

Recently I’ve had a lot of people thanking me for my efforts in helping create awareness of spina bifida, specifically with all the photography I’ve been doing…not just of Chance…but of many others with spina bifida. It’s been a life changing experience to say the least. I have to admit that last year in the months that followed the diagnosis I was still quite scared to connect in person with families who were affected directly by spina bifida. It’s not that I was scared of the kids with spina bifida but that I was scared to accept what I knew my child would be challenged with. All the optimism in the world would never take away the fact that he had spina bifida or that he’d likely need extensive medical care. In the last few months I’ve found the courage to reach out to other families with a hope to not only connect and get to know them but to help raise awareness of spina bifida through my photography. In addition to it being spina bifida awareness month we also have the walk-n-roll for spina bifida event coming up on October 29th so I’m quite excited to share the final awareness campaign I’ve created. A huge thanks to all the families who helped me out in making this campaign of imagery happen. Spending time with each family helped me recognize just how unique each child is and regardless of whatever challenges they face they are all still amazing…every single one.

The kids and I paused this evening to take some photos. It’s been a reflective day for me which usually makes for a good photo day. A year ago I didn’t quite realize how my baby boy would become such a sweet big boy…thankfully he still loves me just as much even with Chance here.

I really hoped to take a photo of all three of the kids together. Chance wasn’t too interested in the idea…neither were the other kids. By the time Chance settled down they preferred to run around and play…and I decided moments like this were just as memorable.

Jason’s been away at training this week and we’ve been missing him. It seems all my babies have been a bit more moody at times. Thankfully Hope has been a huge help. Chance is still very clingy these days. He’s refusing to eat solid food and has allowed his gag reflex to kick. Yes, this face was really because he was a hungry little booger.

Now that Jaylen is four he’s been incredibly cute. He’s starting to try to “cheese” for the camera…I can tell I’m on the verge of losing his spontaneous real smiles in photos. I still adore how he squishes his nose up now when he smiles for photos. He’s looking so much like his daddy these days.

The kids had fun acting goofy outside tonight. The are hilarious these days. If I could just get them to stop antagonizing one another the other half of the day we’d be doing well. Today we went out to begin plotting their birthday party in a few weeks…they’re rather excited about it.

After Chance had some time to eat I brought him back out for photos. Hope has been so helpful in getting him to sit and smile for photos. She totally adores him…she said today, “He’s about 5% cuter than me.” She’s such a great big sister but I can tell she misses the days when she was the only baby in the house. Tonight she said, “it’s no fair…there’s only one of you and three of us.” I sure don’t know how I’d make it without my baby girl…she’s the best helper with her baby brother.

A year ago I knew we’d not give up on my baby boy. I knew we’d be stuck with spina bifida for life. I remained optimistic but knew challenges were likely. I knew I’d be in love with this little guy…but I don’t think I realized just how amazing he’d be.

A year ago I recall saying I knew there was a purpose for all this happening and though I may not completely get it I know this sweet little boy was brought to me for a reason. I’ve been reminded of this by a handful of people this year and it makes it no easier to accept. Yes, Chance…so many people are thanking you for having spina bifida…as sad as that sounds…they know that having you endure all the challenges of spina bifida means I will pour my heart into helping you and the many others who are enduring spina bifida. We may not be able to cure it but perhaps somehow together we’ll help many others see that your life was worth it. Perhaps together we can make others more aware. Perhaps somehow we can help others see the hope. You are amazing and I will never give up on you.

Now hopefully you all will pause to pray…on October 24th, 2012 join us all in praying for all those affected by spina bifida.

And…if you haven’t heard…Chance’s team is no longer in the lead in fundraising for the walk-n-roll…perhaps you all can pitch-in to donate a little bit to help the cause.

I’m finally finding the energy to post an update since Chance’s 11th surgery. The last week and a half has been beyond draining. We’re still in the hospital as I share this update but we just received word from the doctor that we’ll be discharged today.

Chance’s 11th surgery went well. Thursday was a challenging day. It was one we looked forward to so we could move on. Yet it was also one we were fearful of given how many issues we’ve had with shunts. But Chance that morning started the day in a pretty good mood…sure seems like he’s saying “let’s do this”.

It took more work to distract him and keep him occupied as we waited for his surgery time.

From 4am on that day I couldn’t feed him and by around 10am they clamped his EVD that was draining the fluid in his head. Within an hour of clamping his EVD he became irritable.

Here Chance is in some of the final moments before we left his room and headed up to the post-op area.

I recall feeling a bit more nervous as the time came closer to his surgery and admiring the light shining down on him. Everyone keeps telling us to pray “this is it” and that he won’t require any additional surgeries. I’m not so sure how many more prayers God needs because I know we have so many others also praying for my baby boy. As we all look upward I suppose I should remind myself to keep praying and find it in myself to trust and not doubt what is planned for my baby boy.

Jason arrived just before we headed up to the post-op area. It made Chance’s day to see his daddy. Our family has been divided as he’s been caring for the kids and resuming work so I admire these moments that much more when they happen.

Yes, Chance has lots of people praying for him. Even all his doctors. This is my child so of course he hasn’t taken the simple route to life or recovering. He likes to keep his doctors on their toes and with as much as they have touched our lives we know Chance has somehow managed to steal a piece of their hearts too.

Here Chance was resting just before his 11th surgery. Eleven surgeries later and it never gets easier letting go of my baby boy when they take him off to surgery.

After surgery he was so tired. Aside from feedings he slept virtually all evening and the remainder of the night.

Even majority of yesterday he rested. Given all he had been through the doctor wanted him to stay an additional day just to keep an eye on him.

The back of my baby boy’s head looks awful. He now has six scars, four of which are still new wounds. I took this photo at first without the intent of sharing it and then I got to thinking…I’m going to have to take my baby boy out and about before long and it’s going to be inevitable…people will see his head. Just a couple of weeks before this round of surgeries I had gotten questions from people curious of what happened to his head. I can only imagine how many questions that might come now. I have this feeling that once they heal good he’ll be wearing hats this winter until his little head heals more and his hair grows.

Yesterday was the first time in a week and a half that Chance went wireless. For the last week and a half he’s had all his wires, including the EVD connected which confined him to being within a foot or two of his hospital crib. It’s a liberating feeling being able to roam around without those darn wires…so we celebrated by taking a photo.

Thank you all again for the continued prayers & support as we’ve spent all this time in the hospital watching our baby boy go through so much. I promise the next update will be from home…and that should make us all smile!